If you’re struggling to get over a breakup, and you’re having trouble seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, this book is for you- “Getting to Good Riddance- A No-Bullsh*t Breakup Survival Guide.”
I wasn’t struggling with a bad break up when Jodie Eckleberry-Hunt, Ph.D, A.B.P.P, a Fenton psychologist and executive coach with more than 20 years of counseling experience, reached out and asked if we could write about her latest book, but I was eager to nonetheless.
Swearing in a book title? I love it. She explains how profanity and humor can help people work through painful times, and it’s all backed up by research. Maybe you’ll recognize the title of her other book, “Move on Motherf*cker: Live, Laugh & Let Sh*t Go.”
One of the best aspects of “Getting to Good Riddance” is how empathetic it is. Eckleberry-Hunt never demeans people for being in a bad relationship or struggling to move on. She meets you where you’re at using knowledge she’s gained in the Cognitive Behavioral Thinking field. However, the book feels like a conversation because of her smooth writing style.
Interspersed with scenarios of fictional people in relationships they probably shouldn’t be in, she shows you red flags in people and relationships without explicitly stating they’re red flags. When partners lie. When they don’t respect boundaries. When someone ends a relationship with no explanation. When people tolerate the bad times because they’re addicted to the few good times.
She’s excellent at explaining information in a non-condescending manner.
The most interesting chapter to me was chapter seven, “Handling Extremely Bad Actors.” This chapter is for people in a relationship with (and maybe trying to leave) narcissists, dependent people, sociopaths, abusers and threateners.
She’s factual and sympathetic, even to narcissists and sociopaths.
“...sociopaths did not develop the ability to attach or care for others…They have no empathy,” she writes. “As with the narcissist, the damage goes back to childhood and is often related to early-life abuse and neglect. The damage is, sadly, irreversible.”
Threateners are people who use statements like, “I’m going to hurt myself,” “I can’t live in this world without you” and even suicidal statements to manipulate their partner into staying in the relationship.
I like that she respects her clients, and readers, enough to be honest about these bad actors. There’s no changing them. You have to recognize the signs and leave, but you have to be safe doing so. She also includes information on hotlines that help people in abusive relationships.
The author never lays blame on the people who inadvertently entered into a relationship with these people. We can’t help who we like, after all. She’s adamant that everyone can fall prey to people who make us feel good about ourselves, even temporarily.
Are you struggling to let go of someone you know is bad for you? Are you still angry after a bad breakup? Still grieving? This book can help.
Eckleberry-Hunt’s main talent in writing (besides her years of expertise in her field) is her humor and how she never leaves the reader feeling hopeless.
She’s anti-self pity. She’s pro-positive thinking and self-talk. She does not recommend remaining friends with your ex. She’s pro-mindfulness and pro-exercise.
Ultimately, she leaves readers with the tools to develop a healthier and more stable sense of self worth. I recommend this book even if you’re not going through a break up, because it’s also a guide on how to better understand yourself and others.
The book comes out July 2022. Make sure to check out “Getting to Good Riddance” at local bookstores, like Fenton’s Open Book.