Malapropism is defined in Websters as: ‘The habit of unintentionally misusing words ridiculously, especially when the words are similar in sound.’ The English language is chock full of idioms that are mispronounced or misused on a daily basis by many people, such as my friend Bob. Here are a few examples of malapropisms that are butchered on a daily basis.
Did you know that the most popular meal in America is pizza? Americans spent $38 billion on pizza last year. The average American eats 46 slices of pizza each year. There are 41,362 subscribers to Pizza Today, the leading pizza industry magazine (there’s more than one?).
Let’s talk about Brian Williams for a moment.
If only the weather were as predictable as the politicians.
Despite, or maybe because of, negative commentary by Hollywood leftist sissies like Michael Moore, Seth Rogen and Bill Maher, American Sniper has been the top movie in America for the last two weeks. It will likely take in $300 million before it runs its course.
I’m not a fan of State of the Union speeches, by either party. Last Tuesday’s SOTU was especially distressing. It left me with a vague and persistent unease that I couldn’t shake.
The terrorism attack in Paris last week provided another opportunity for the fear-mongering news media in America to crawl out of the holes they live in and get to work on their chronic agenda of frightening us for profit. The fear they intentionally sow is far more contagious, costly and harmful to our country than any disease.
The Law of Unintended Consequences states that the actions of people — almost always through government regulations — tend to have negative consequences that are never anticipated.
As Americans, we are asked every day to donate to charities. We are continually solicited by phone, email, social media and our mailbox to give more away. Even a drive to visit grandma is guilt-ridden by dozens of billboards depicting starving children, abandoned puppies and abused spouses.
Have you ever received a Christmas or birthday gift you didn’t want? Mittens for an adult? A subscription to Foot Odor magazine? One of those ridiculous Russian winter hats that look like a beaver is napping atop your head? Yeah, me too.
Every year, as predictable as a millionaire Hollywood actor condemning capitalism, some killjoy mounts their soapbox to tell us that Christmas no longer has any meaning because Americans spend too much money on Christmas gifts and evil retailers have made a mockery of the true meaning of Christmas.
I read a column recently that discussed the merits of the movie It’s A Wonderful Life. I’m one of those guys who wouldn’t feel the Christmas season was complete without an annual viewing of the beloved holiday classic.
Well, my favorite day of the year has come and gone. I am speaking, of course, of the Thanksgiving Day celebration where we give thanks for our many blessings. It’s a wonderful day when families and friends gather together to celebrate the good fortune in their life with wonderful food, friends and family. There is a sense of tradition ingrained in the day that prevents even the wackiest of us from trying to stain the day by launching a diatribe against killing plump, tasty birds or giving thanks to God for our blessings. There is an aura about the day that most of us find reassuring — primarily because it has remained unchanged since we were children.
Good Lord, what has happened to us as Americans? So many of us seem to be so unappreciative — unthankful if you will — about so much these days.
We Americans expend a lot of time and effort chasing the ‘good life.’ And thanks to Madison Avenue, we have no problem identifying what the good life consists of — homes with state-of-the-art technology and high-definition, big screen televisions, garages filled with luxury automobiles, closets full of designer clothing, a healthy portfolio that we obsessively check several times each day in order to gauge our overall comfort level…and, as Sonny and Cher used to say — the list goes on. In a nutshell, the ‘good life’ consists of feeling good, looking good, and having lots of good stuff in order to reassure ourselves, and our friends and neighbors, that we are doing good.