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Newspaper: If I Were King Column

Tri-County Times

Writer, Foster Childs

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Friday 02/27/2015
These malapropisms will ‘peek’ your interest
Posted: February 27, 2015

Malapropism is defined in Websters as: ‘The habit of unintentionally misusing words ridiculously, especially when the words are similar in sound.’ The English language is chock full of idioms that are mispronounced or misused on a daily basis by many people, such as my friend Bob. Here are a few examples of malapropisms that are butchered on a daily basis.

Posted in If i were king on Friday, February 27, 2015 2:52 pm. Comments (0)

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Saturday 02/21/2015
This is why your pizza is cheap and delicious
Posted: February 21, 2015

Did you know that the most popular meal in America is pizza? Americans spent $38 billion on pizza last year. The average American eats 46 slices of pizza each year. There are 41,362 subscribers to Pizza Today, the leading pizza industry magazine (there’s more than one?).

Posted in If i were king on Saturday, February 21, 2015 2:50 pm. Comments (0)

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Friday 02/13/2015
Wake up call for all network media?
Posted: February 13, 2015

Let’s talk about Brian Williams for a moment.

Posted in If i were king on Friday, February 13, 2015 3:14 pm. Comments (0)

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Friday 02/06/2015
Politicians are predictable, the weather is not
Posted: February 06, 2015

If only the weather were as predictable as the politicians.

Posted in If i were king on Friday, February 6, 2015 1:19 pm. Comments (0)

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Friday 01/30/2015
Thank you for your service
Posted: January 30, 2015

Despite, or maybe because of, negative commentary by Hollywood leftist sissies like Michael Moore, Seth Rogen and Bill Maher, American Sniper has been the top movie in America for the last two weeks. It will likely take in $300 million before it runs its course.

Posted in If i were king on Friday, January 30, 2015 2:30 pm. Comments (0)

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Friday 01/23/2015
There is no such thing as ‘free’
Posted: January 23, 2015

I’m not a fan of State of the Union speeches, by either party. Last Tuesday’s SOTU was especially distressing. It left me with a vague and persistent unease that I couldn’t shake.

Posted in If i were king on Friday, January 23, 2015 3:08 pm. Comments (0)

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Friday 01/16/2015
Living well is the best revenge
Posted: January 16, 2015

The terrorism attack in Paris last week provided another opportunity for the fear-mongering news media in America to crawl out of the holes they live in and get to work on their chronic agenda of frightening us for profit. The fear they intentionally sow is far more contagious, costly and harmful to our country than any disease.

Posted in If i were king on Friday, January 16, 2015 3:37 pm. Comments (0)

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Saturday 01/10/2015
The law of unintended consequences
Posted: January 10, 2015

The Law of Unintended Consequences states that the actions of people — almost always through government regulations — tend to have negative consequences that are never anticipated.

Posted in If i were king on Saturday, January 10, 2015 9:35 am. Comments (0)

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Friday 01/02/2015
Checkout charity? I’m not a fan
Updated: January 02, 2015 - 2:59 pm

As Americans, we are asked every day to donate to charities. We are continually solicited by phone, email, social media and our mailbox to give more away. Even a drive to visit grandma is guilt-ridden by dozens of billboards depicting starving children, abandoned puppies and abused spouses.

Posted in If i were king on Friday, January 2, 2015 2:58 pm. Updated: 2:59 pm. Comments (1)

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Friday 12/26/2014
The art of giving gifts
Updated: December 26, 2014 - 2:09 pm

Have you ever received a Christmas or birthday gift you didn’t want? Mittens for an adult? A subscription to Foot Odor magazine? One of those ridiculous Russian winter hats that look like a beaver is napping atop your head? Yeah, me too. 

Posted in If i were king on Friday, December 26, 2014 2:07 pm. Updated: 2:09 pm. Comments (0)

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Friday 12/19/2014
In defense of Christmas
Posted: December 19, 2014

Every year, as predictable as a millionaire Hollywood actor condemning capitalism, some killjoy mounts their soapbox to tell us that Christmas no longer has any meaning because Americans spend too much money on Christmas gifts and evil retailers have made a mockery of the true meaning of Christmas.

Posted in If i were king on Friday, December 19, 2014 3:44 pm. Comments (0)

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Friday 12/12/2014
It’s A Wonderful Life
Posted: December 12, 2014

I read a column recently that discussed the merits of the movie It’s A Wonderful Life. I’m one of those guys who wouldn’t feel the Christmas season was complete without an annual viewing of the beloved holiday classic.

Posted in If i were king on Friday, December 12, 2014 3:56 pm. Comments (0)

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Friday 12/05/2014
Don’t hate them, pity them
Updated: December 05, 2014 - 3:18 pm

Well, my favorite day of the year has come and gone. I am speaking, of course, of the Thanksgiving Day celebration where we give thanks for our many blessings. It’s a wonderful day when families and friends gather together to celebrate the good fortune in their life with wonderful food, friends and family. There is a sense of tradition ingrained in the day that prevents even the wackiest of us from trying to stain the day by launching a diatribe against killing plump, tasty birds or giving thanks to God for our blessings. There is an aura about the day that most of us find reassuring — primarily because it has remained unchanged since we were children.

Posted in If i were king on Friday, December 5, 2014 3:14 pm. Updated: 3:18 pm. Comments (0)

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Friday 11/28/2014
An ‘attitude of gratitude’
Posted: November 28, 2014

Good Lord, what has happened to us as Americans? So many of us seem to be so unappreciative — unthankful if you will — about so much these days.

Posted in If i were king on Friday, November 28, 2014 5:53 pm. Comments (0)

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Friday 11/21/2014
Chasing the ‘good life’
Posted: November 21, 2014

We Americans expend a lot of time and effort chasing the ‘good life.’ And thanks to Madison Avenue, we have no problem identifying what the good life consists of — homes with state-of-the-art technology and high-definition, big screen televisions, garages filled with luxury automobiles, closets full of designer clothing, a healthy portfolio that we obsessively check several times each day in order to gauge our overall comfort level…and, as Sonny and Cher used to say — the list goes on. In a nutshell, the ‘good life’ consists of feeling good, looking good, and having lots of good stuff in order to reassure ourselves, and our friends and neighbors, that we are doing good.

Posted in If i were king on Friday, November 21, 2014 2:30 pm. Comments (1)

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